Sister Rhoda Priest

What is your full Sister name?

Sister Rhoda Priest


What is your lay occupation?

Lay occupation?! Honey, I’ve never charged for it.


Date of birth?

(Sealed by Order of the Vatican)


Home town?

A rural farming community in the Midwest. I’m happy it’s still there. I’m even happier that I’m not.


When did you discover your calling?

I was at Crush with friends when I met Sister Ghana Maria. After witnessing her fabulousness and hearing about the work of the Sisters, I was intrigued. The desire to be a Sister grew over the next couple years, and after reaching a point in my life where I knew I needed to give back to my community, I began my journey.


Big Sister/Mother in the order?

I am the illegitimate daughter of Sister Helen Baak and Tom Selleck. I’m guessing a Prince cassette, a bottle of Makers Mark and a steamy shower were involved.


Why did you join?

Nothing feels as good is giving yourself freely (just ask Sister Donna). That joy coupled with the determination to help others avoid some of the harsh lessons I had to learn on my own became my catalyst. Spreading joy, eliminating guilt and looking fabulous while doing it brought me to the order, and it keeps me going during difficult times.


Religious beliefs (if any)?

Religion is for those who don’t want to go to hell. Spirituality is for those who have been to hell and don’t want to go back.


Major projects with the Order?

My Novice Project was “All Tea, No Shade”, which was a tea dance at the Local Lounge. The proceeds were donated to Esther’s Pantry, along with matching funds from several donors.


Rules by which I live

Always leave them wanting more
Karma is only a bitch if you are


Other People's Words That I Find Instructive.

“The measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.
“Every one of us lives his life just once; if we’re honest, to live once is enough” - Greta Garbo
“Whatever god you believe in, we come from the same one. Strip away the fear, underneath it's all the same love” - Macklemore
“If you go out in public looking a mess, I’ll slap the white off your face.” - My Mother

Fully Professed Sisters

Sister Ann R. Kissed

Sister Bambi Saphire

Sister Betti Crotcher

Sister Celeste L. Powers

Sister Donna Vanewday

Sister Edna Daze

Sister Florence of Faith

Sister Foranda Fleur

Sister Glory Glory Hole-lelujah

Sister Golden Hair Surprise

Sister Helen Baak

Sister Krissy Fiction

Sister Ohna Fuckin' Tirade

Sister Polly Amorous

Sister Reva Lation

Sister Rhoda Priest

Sister Shomi D. Goods

Sister Spinna DeVinyl


Fully Professed Guards

Guard Noah Shame